I want to start my own religion. I think it can be done. Let me share with you my objective and my 10 step plan as how I shall do it:

Objective

I'll be honest with you, I want to make a lot of money! The tax breaks alone granted church organizations have made religion a multi-trillion dollar business worldwide. Make no mistakes about it, religion is BIG business. Most church organizations (particularly the Roman Catholic Church) have financial advisors, real estate holdings, stocks & bonds, issue loans with interest, along with a host of other money making methods. I want a piece of that pie.

I love power and control. There are three subjects that instill the most conversation and passion in people: religion, politics and sex. With my new religion I can have all three! I will have political power as my new religion and church financial holdings grow, and I can have all the sex (safe) I want as indicated by the past history of the papacy, and contemporary religious scandals show.

I will focus on peoples fears, superstitions and ignorance regarding God and the afterlife. I have seen how many of the other religions have profited tremendously from this tried and true method. You know what they say: "If it aint broke don't fix it". I shall convince the people that a God who has the capability of creating this vast and limitless universe cares about every single individual. Even though God created all things here and beyond with an infinitesimal amount of his power they will believe he cares about them personally. It's worked before, I know it can again.